Weathering change that is out of your control

by Carla Grundison

Everything from aging to actions taken by others, there is often little we can do to
stop or delay changes that are at the mercy of time or outside influences. We might
resist or fear such changes, but becoming more resilient can help us weather them
with more strength and ease.

Carla Grundison

While we can eat well, get regular exercise, do sudoku and other practices deemed
beneficial for our physical body and mental aptitude – let’s not forget about our
emotional and spiritual well-being, which starts with how we feel about ourselves.

Accept yourself – just as you are in this moment

Acceptance of ourselves and our present circumstances is an important first step
toward improving our well-being and own resilience to change.

When we feel down about ourselves our inner-critic gets louder, reminding us not
only about our own perceived failings but it also adds a negative lens through which
we view the world.
The more we can accept ourselves and see ourselves in a favourable light –
perceived flaws and all – the more we can see the outside world and upcoming
change with hope and possibility instead of fear.
Leave the past and future where it is – come back to the present
A large part of fear and resistance around change comes from the thoughts which
take us out of the present moment.

Carla Grundison
Our energy goes where our thoughts go. If we are steeped in thoughts of the past or
future – what went wrong or should have been done differently, how things might
turn out, etc. – we might be physically present but our energy and focus is not.
When we bring ourselves back into the present moment, we are in a space where we
can take action instead of dwelling on things outside of our control. Taking action
can only be done in the present moment, and as such – it’s a wonderful antidote to
Some simple and quick ways to come back to the present: notice your physical
surroundings; bring your attention to your breath; take action mindfully – whether it
be taking a sip of water, picking up a pen, going down the hallway – become aware of
all you see, and/or hear and/or feel while doing it; this will give you a reprieve from
thoughts and bring you back to the moment.
Change that is in our control – making a decision we feel good about
When we get stuck in a cycle of trying to figure out the right decision – overthinking,
struggling to predict an outcome, fearing what might happen – it’s time to tune-in to
what our intuition and inner wisdom is telling us about the situation.
Connect to your intuition

Our intuition is the often quiet yet strong voice of support and wisdom we each have
within ourselves. But most of us tend to be more consciously aware of the thinking
The thinking mind strives to keep us safe, even when there is no threat of physical
danger. It works hard to figure out the best decisions using logic and facts, and often
keeps us doing the same things, sticking to the same routines – typically steering us
clear of change. This is not to say that we must override any warnings and take all
opportunities for change with careless abandon. The intuition and the thinking mind
work together; there’s a fine balance between the two.
The intuition holds the answer that is ‘right’ for us – for our best interest and
growth. We can usually tell this right answer by how it feels in our body – before we
begin to think ourselves into the choice that makes sense ‘on paper.’ You know the
feeling – you’ve had it before:  when you made a choice and you just knew, you could
just feel it was right thing to do. You felt a sense of freedom or ease in the decision
you made.
One way to intentionally connect to your intuition:  take a few minutes, take a few
deep breaths, close your eyes (when safe to do so) and then ask your intuition
silently or through writing in a journal – for support and some answers about your
dilemma. By inviting the answer, it creates space for your intuition to be heard.
Release expectations. Intuitive messages and answers may be general and very
simple, but tend to come with a sense of calm rarely found in the calamity of the
overactive thinking mind.

However quiet that intuitive voice is, trust that it is always guiding you – whether
through change or stillness. It is the part of you that lifts you up to keep going even
when things are difficult.
Other practices that offer help navigating change and decision-making:  counselling
and therapy, coaching, energy work such as reiki, meditation – to name a few.
Carla Grundison is an Intuition Development Coach in Calgary, Alberta, and can be
reached through , or on Facebook or Instagram at

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